6 months before getting pregnant I actually managed to lose just over a stone with diet and regular exercise. hurrah!! I finally started to like the way I looked and felt. 5 and a half months down the line is a different story, so far I've gained 1.5 stones and an unwanted double chin has started to appear!
Because my BMI was so high at the time of getting pregnant I was referred to a "healthy lifestyle clinic" at the hospital. Basically I sit in a room with a dietitian and get lectured about my weight and how its going to affect my pregnancy and labour. To be honest they are so patronising and full of shit I come away feeling so bad about myself I go straight across the road to drown my sorrows in a hot chocolate with extra cream from costa.
This weeks appointment included a glucose intolerance test or diabetes test for any non pregnant readers. luckily I came away unscathed and avoided the dreaded diagnosis of diabetes. In between blood tests I had to chat to the dietitian again (bangs head on wall)
this woman is so rude and has total lack of skills in the way she says things for example this week she asked about my diet, so I told her I try and eat as much fruit as I can instead of things like chocolate and cake. She pipes up with... you shouldn't be eating fruit it has to much natural sugar in it. well what the fuck am I supposed to eat then love ?? Its about this time I notice she's got a can of full fat coke sitting open at her desk (its 9am). Hypocrite much!
Don't get me started on the exercise!! I swim when I can, luckily I have a membership for my local pool so I can pretty much go whenever I like, bearing in mind I work full time 40+ hours a week and not finishing until 9-10pm sometimes. Her reaction to this was cant you swim more? when I replied saying I work full time and when I'm not working I'm doing housework or cooking etc. She pipes up with "well cant your husband do the house work?" at this point I practically have steam coming out of my ears how dare she comment on my private life. I am 5 and a half months pregnant working full time while trying to exercise and keep my house clean and tidy. By this point I was trying to hold back the tears because id had enough of being criticised for trying to do my best for me and my baby. When she suddenly started banging on about breast feeding that just tipped the scales but that's another story and another blog I shall write about.
after finishing all my blood tests almost having a nervous breakdown then enjoying a hot chocolate in costa I got picked up by my husband. Got home ran to my bedroom and cried for about 2 hours feeling like I've failed as a mum and as a human. I felt totally shit for the rest of that night trying to stay calm for the baby's sake. The following day I told myself I am doing a good job and I am going to be a good mother to my baby boy fat or not he will love me and I will love him even more. I am carrying on swimming and eating fruit and I will continue to do so until my baby Is here because I am his mum and I know what to do for the best.
if you got this far in reading my post then thank you for listening to my ramblings.
I would like to dedicate this post to chipping Norton hospital for kicking me when I'm down and making me get back up stronger!
z
xxx
im sure you are doing a fabulous job.they know how to kick us when we are down dont they.
ReplyDeleteZ I know exactly how you feel; with my first pregnancy i lost near a stone through morning sickness and due to my naturally petite size anyway was told by mid wives and doctors that i must Anorexic... i was placed on weekly food diaries and even told I was lying about what i was eating (anyone who knows me, understands how much i love grub) . Further more i was consistantly told because of my size there was no way i would go full term and / or would have to have a c section which is always the last thing anyone wants to hear when expecting! Please keep your chin up and ignore crabby midwives, no one knows your body like you do and just for info to other readers as well as my dearest pal Z. I had my daughter naturally weighing in at a healthy 6lb7 the day before her due date. That'll show em ay!! 😉 Needless to say 2nd b came around the corner and similar comments came yet again except this time i knew, I say flip them the bird and take care of number one/two the best way you know how xx
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