Sometimes in life things get very overwhelming we don’t know quite how to react to certain things happening. Unfortunally for me today is one of those days. Today is hard and to be honest all I want is a cuddle from my mum. That’s right I’m a 30 year old grown women soon to be a mum herself who just wants a cuddle from her mum. Today started out okay I had a lovely lay in then got up and had my usual bowl of coco pops and a cuppa tea put some washing on and did some housework.
Then my bump started to really ache for those non pregnant women and men out there who’s reading this imagine your insides slowly stretching to make room for a heavy bowling ball and when laying down said bowling ball moves to one side making it so uncomfortable to sleep bend down and sometimes even walk or stand. At times it can be quite unpleasant and really quite uncomfortable especially when baby decides to move around at the same time. Aswell as the tummy ache I woke up with a really sore arm. No I hadn’t slept in an awkward position before you ask ...i had my whooping cough jab yesterday and dear lord did that hurt when the nurse jabbed me! this morning I’ve woken up with a red lump where the unfortunate incident happend. I’m so tired of being poked and prodded, since getting pregnant I’ve had 6 blood tests, 2 jabs and countless urine tests. It’s actully exhausting being treated like a lab rat and for someone who has a fear of needles I feel like I've coped pretty well.
So I managed to get some housework done which felt good but I just didn’t feel myself today emotions were running high I find myself crying over stupid things like the hover not turning on or dropping something on the floor, the tiredness has set in and it’s really difficult previously being an independent person doing everything I need to do by myself to then suddenly need help putting my socks on. Being the kind of person I am I would rather struggle then ask for help, It almost feels slightly demoralising and embarrassing to ask for help doing simple day to day things and it’s only going to get worse ..
So since Mr M got home from work I have been very clingy and cuddly and not wanting to be left alone because I can feel my mood dipping. Everything seems to be moving so fast and there’s still so much left to do before the little man arrives in 11 weeks. So to break from the normal witty funny posts ive been writing recently today I openly admit I’m struggling. pregnancy is bloody hard sometimes and women don’t get nearly enough credit for going through this, this isn’t me crying out for attention or expecting people to say oh poor you :-( im just saying it how it is the reality of what pregnancy really is. It’s Tiring painfull and emotional and relentless. Having said all this I know I am going through this for a reason and knowing its all temporary is helping me through the tough days. 11 weeks and counting until I meet my perfect little man.
At the end of the day you are never to old to want your mum. And right now I’m a mum who just wants a cuddle from her mum and I'm learning its not shameful asking for help.
Z
xxx
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